PART II – IN THE SERIES: HAVING IT ALL – YES OR NO
We all have our personal journeys, goals, and achievements. For me the answer to this question is a personal one. And as such, cannot be defined by someone other than the person who is living it, striving for it, or hoping for it.
Do I have it all? I struggle with the answer to that question to this day. And if you ask me next year, I might give you a different answer than I do today.
I think as a parent, people who know me would agree that I have succeeded in instilling within my children morals and a sound work ethic. My children have graduated from high school [with the exception of my youngest who is a sophomore but – fingers crossed – on the right track], and on occasion they pursue higher education. My adult age children are self supporting. And as an added bonus, have stayed out of jail and off drugs. I certainly don’t feel bad about the outcome thus far. If the ends justify the means, then yah, I might be defined by some as a good parent.
As for my career, I graduated from college with honors while raising my children [with the help of a nanny until my youngest was 6 after which time I put him into day care and my 9 and 12 year olds became latchkey kids ], I became a Certified Public Accountant and eventually started my own successful accounting practice.
During my children’s formative years, my husband and I divorced. I am now remarried to a wonderful loving man who I thank god for everyday.
So here I am today, with seemingly well adjusted children, a happy marriage and a flourishing career. Do I have it all? It certainly would seem so.
But how did I get here? What was the journey? Was it worth it?
© Copyright 2008 Stacie Clifford. All rights reserved
PART I – IN THE SERIES: HAVING IT ALL – YES OR NO
Frankly, for me, the catchy part of the title was the author’s name, Clive. Who is Clive and why is he interested in female partners? Honestly, when you read articles about business women, generally they are written by – well – women. So I really was interested in what Clive had to say…a new take…a fresh perspective.
My reaction to Clive’s take on female partners, sex discrimination, the old boys club, path to partnership, and how he ties this all into maternity leave was immediate and harsh. At first I was somewhat speechless – well, in truth, I was speechless for about 5 seconds before I launched into a verbal tirade about short sited warped logic that seemed to be saying that women needed to be protected from their own decisions to get pregnant, give birth, and to go on maternity leave.
As I see it, only in the business world would someone take such a supercilious and inflammatory position as to suggest that becoming a parent doesn’t bring with it some concessions. And yes, surprise, might negatively or at least temporarily impact your assent up the career ladder. So in case you haven’t figured it out, all decisions have consequences; and that includes the decision to have children.
If you are one of those women who thinks you can have it all, this series may not be for you. My take on the topic is probably somewhat different from the main stream. So, you might be somewhat distressed by my views.
I don’t believe that the answer to, “Can you have it all?” can be summed up in a simple article or two. In my opinion, the topic really deserves several in-depth chapters in a very thick book. Obviously, the answer to “Can you have it all?” is relative to where your personal beliefs lie in regards to the questions: What makes a good mother, employer, wife, etc?
As a former single mom [former because I have remarried], I am no stranger to the struggles faced by mothers who are also trying to juggle a career. Not only can I relate to the struggles of motherhood, I feel that I have a unique perspective since as a single mom, not only was I attempting to build my career, but I was also struggling with the needs of a disabled child.
When you read Mr. Howard’s article, he seems to infer that not only can we choose to “have it all”, but employers should provide an environment that promotes that choice.
You might be thinking – yes, employers should make concessions for me; I should be able to be a mother and an executive. But is that really true? Is that the best business position? Is that the best personal position?
In this series I will address these questions by sharing my personal journey as I strived to have it all.
© Copyright 2008 Stacie Clifford. All rights reserved
